Getting a dog will be easy

Piece a cake, right? How hard could it be to rescue a dog? We've been trying since before Christmas of 09. Mistakes, errors,verbal battles, missed opportunities. However, we saw one we liked and sent off the papers asap. It's a four hour drive to pick him up and another 4 to return. All was going well on the way down until we missed the turnoff which meant another 35-40 minutes longer on the road. The Great One doesn't like these kind of errors. He went into a sulk and all conversations ceased. No lunch, no pee breaks except for the lap dog. Found the Rescue centre and while he charmed the volunteers I charmed the big dog outside in his run. This lovely dog, golden retreiver crossed with bear, had been tied to a tree and left to die in the woods. He did not want to get into the back of the car and it took two people to get him in. On the way homebhe tried climbing into the front with us and it took all my strength to keep him in the back. The Great One still wasn't talking and neither was I.
We found out once we got home that the dog knows nothing. He's 3 or 4 and doesn't know the command for sit, or down. He couldn't climb the stairs. With coaxing he succeeded both up and down within five minutes. I was in bed by 10 pm and up again at midnight when I could smell something pretty ripe. The dog had pooped elephantine proportions in The Great One's office. :)
I cleaned up while TGO, stark naked, mopped the floors.
It was so dark when I walked him this morning he wore his flashing collar. But already he's better on the leash. The cats have come down from their safe places to see what horrific thing we've inflicted on their pastoral lives. The lap dog is still under the bed.